{"id":4264,"date":"2017-11-08T14:03:17","date_gmt":"2017-11-08T19:03:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ezermizion.org\/blog\/?p=4264"},"modified":"2017-11-08T14:40:33","modified_gmt":"2017-11-08T19:40:33","slug":"a-journey-we-didnt-plan-from-nechama-spielmans-diary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ezermizion.org\/blog\/a-journey-we-didnt-plan-from-nechama-spielmans-diary\/","title":{"rendered":"A Journey We Didn\u2019t Plan from Nechama Spielman\u2019s Diary"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"diary<\/a>
Our Journey through Planet Cancer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I remember exactly where I was sitting.<\/p>\n

I remember the curious sun ray that peeked inside to see our new house, slid gracefully across the table, jumped down, gave the floor a luster, and flashed me a warm smile. Maybe it was trying to stroke my cheek, even before we ourselves knew that, just a few moments later, we would be needing just such a comforting embrace.<\/p>\n

I was writing something in my notebook, when the phone rang. It was Yigal. I waited to hear an update on the test he had done. What I heard were strange words. Words not part of my vocabulary at all.<\/p>\n

My thoughts galloped forward at the speed of light.<\/p>\n

Cancer.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tumor.<\/p>\n

Children.<\/p>\n

To tell?<\/p>\n

Not to tell?<\/p>\n

To tell!<\/p>\n

But what?<\/p>\n

And how?<\/p>\n

And when?<\/p>\n

Death.<\/p>\n

Loss.<\/p>\n

My mother. She was also so young.<\/p>\n

Mom-m-m-my!!!!! Where are you, Mommy? \u00a0\u00a0I so much want to talk to you now!!! Answer me!!!\u00a0 Answer me!!! Not again! It can\u2019t be\u2026 Isn\u2019t one bout with cancer<\/strong> enough? Yigal is 41! Even younger than my mother! A quick calculation \u2013 how old was my baby sister when Mommy got sick\u2026 when Mommy died\u2026 Our children are even younger\u2026 But Yigal? Hashem? Yigal? Why him? He is my supporting pillar in this world\u2026. I have an unwritten agreement with You not to take Yigal, remember? I can\u2019t manage without him\u2026 And people die of cancer<\/strong>! Die! People die of cancer<\/strong>. It\u2019s just a matter of time. Will I have to go through all this again? I can\u2019t… Yes, I can. Maybe this time, it\u2019ll be different? Maybe he\u2019ll live…?<\/p>\n

I go outside, where I can connect to the sky\u2026to the infinite. I talk to Hashem. No, I scream to Hashem. Then I begin to plan the first talk- the first time we will tell someone. Interesting how it sounds when you tell it to someone else. I think of my friend, who is like a sister to me. In my mind\u2019s eye, I call. I tell her. I listen to myself, to the totally illogical words that leave my own mouth. Yigal has a tumor. Yigal? What do you mean? What do you mean??! Yigal???? Unit commander in the army, farmer, young, full of energy, strong, what do you mean???<\/p>\n

For two days, we are in a bubble. We don\u2019t tell anyone before first breaking the news to the family. We tell the children, each one on his level. We call parents, siblings; each call takes emotional energy<\/strong>. We become depleted. We can\u2019t continue. How will we handle the day-to-day living? And the ups and downs of this journey we\u2019ve been signed up for? We have to be there for the kids\u2026for each other. We\u2019re running on empty. Help me. Hashem, help!<\/p>\n

\"Womn<\/a>
Keeping up the spirits as she drives them to and from hospital<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"pr<\/a>
Keeping up the spirits with warm, nourishing meals accompanied by caring and compassion<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I begin to see how enough emotional energy<\/strong> can carry you but when you run out, you can\u2019t go further. Ezer Mizion has known that secret for years. They know how \u2018keeping up the spirits<\/strong>\u2019 is not just a phrase. It\u2019s the building blocks of living in the planet called Cancer. It\u2019s the vitamin that\u2019s added to every ride to the hospital<\/a> as the driver dispenses his \u2018pills\u2019: the blue one is sympathy, the green encouragement. <\/strong>Those same vitamins are tucked into each meal delivered to me at the hospital<\/a> by caring Ezer Mizion angels. Fun trips for the family, a day of pampering with every extra to remind us what it feels like to laugh, to be happy\u2026Ezer Mizion doesn\u2019t miss a beat.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve met wonderful people at Ezer Mizion. Hashem is holding our hand and sending us such beautiful shlichim. We\u2019ve become so close to Hakodesh Boruch Hu and we\u2019ve learned what life is really about. Our Father, our King, You sent us to this world so that we would grow in it and from it. Help us be written in the Book of Good Life. Not just \u201cLife,\u201d but a \u201cGood Life.\u201d Because man can live in this world and entire lifetime, without ever really living.<\/p>\n

To be continued.<\/p>\n\"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>\"mail\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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