Letters to the Editor – Inyan Tziburi
Anxiety from Yamim Noraim
Oct. 20, 2014
Dear Public Interest section:
It is a few days before Rosh Hashanah, and I have finally decided to take paper and pen and write – write to everyone who, like me, is overwhelmed by anxiety. Not fear of the Divine Judgment, but fear of the harsh future that will be decreed upon me for the next year, G-d forbid. I tremble in fear from the red mark on the highways, and am terrified that I or someone in my family has been marked for tragedy. I wait with inner impatience for the Yamim Noraim – and they are really terrible days for me – to be over, and for the gleeful days of Sukkot to come and with their joy, silence the storm raging within my heart.
Another year passes, and yet another, and for me, as early as the sunny month of Tamuz, Elul with all its fears, anxieties and nerves, begins to darken my state of mind. I become an edgy, moody mother, wracked by guilt feelings. Until… one day, G-d had mercy on me and I woke up. I didn’t waken after hearing a rousing lecture or inspiring speech (which just raised my level of anxiety). I woke up to the fact that I had a real problem, that it was not fear of G-d that possessed me, but non-normative fear and anxiety, baseless terror, and that I needed to consult with someone who would understand. I called Ezer Mizion’s Talk-Line. The pleasant, intelligent, and understanding voice that responded to my call gave me the strength to organize my thoughts in an orderly way, and explain to my patient listener what was going on inside of me. The talking itself helped me. All the latent and open thoughts and fears immediately were reduced to reasonable dimensions when I dared to speak them out. With her wise, understanding counseling, I managed, with G-d’s help, to reach a place that was more forgiving towards myself, and as a result, to also try and improve myself a bit, and to love myself and my children a little more. And yes – also to love G-d, to try and genuinely feel what “V’ahavta – And you shall love G-d” is all about and to comprehend how compassionate and embracing is His close bond.
Thank you to the Talk-Line for being such good emissaries.
My blessings for a good New Year –